No. Come back to NYC immediately. …

Comment on A Comparison of Actual “Banquet” Frozen Dinners with their Box Cover Photographs by Matt.

No. Come back to NYC immediately.

Recent Comments by Matt

Jamaican Beef Patties
Yes Mom. Correct.

I want a plate of these things. Screw lobster.

Extra-Crispy Spicy Fried Chicken with “Delta” Sauce
Yesterday was no. Today is yes.

A Comparative Analysis of 13 Sketchy Frozen Burritos
You’ll have to sub-categorize it: leavening crust, Ellios-esque, mini/bagel/rolls, pan, french bread. Yikes.

A Comparative Analysis of 13 Sketchy Frozen Burritos
Way to take one for the team. I’m eagerly anticipating your frozen pizza chronicles. And your heart attack.

How to Make Corn Tortillas
I see you’ve backed off the “No man’s hands touch masa” bit.

You’re right that store-bought don’t even come close to fresh. Kind of a mile away.

Malcolm Bedell is co-author of the critically acclaimed "Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road," as well as the junk food blog "Spork & Barrel," and "Brocavore," a blog about food trucks and street food culture. His contributions include Serious Eats, Down East, Eat Rockland, L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, and The Huffington Post and his food truck, "'Wich, Please," was named "Hottest Restaurant in Maine" for 2015 by Eater. Finally, he finds it very silly to be trying to write this in the third person.