Close your eyes and lean back in your seat, imagining the most decadent, sophisticated dessert you’ve ever had. Was there an artful interplay of salty and sweet? A clever use of unexpected fruit? Did the richness of the chocolate evoke the rarefied air of a Swiss slope? Come back. Now travel to another place entirely. There’s Spanish moss hanging from languid trees and a swimming hole where no-necked children go kissing. You are deep in the south of the south. The dirty, swampy, stewing in their own juices states below the Mason-Dixon line, where the plot is pure Faulkner and sloe gin women bring you a slice of cake and a perspiring glass of iced tea.
Cuppa Cuppa Cuppa Cake is stickier than a French Quarter slattern. It is so wrong, so out of fashion, so vapid and irredeemable, I just had to try it. White flour, white sugar, and that snack packable fruit so unlike that which grows on the vine. It goes directly to your hips and strips your dignity as swiftly as it spikes your glucose, but on its way down it gives a little shimmy that tickles your fancy and all your other parts deserving of some fun. I thought I was too good for this cake. Then I ate the majority of it with my fingers, swabbed in freshly whipped cream. On Monday, I’m going vegan, gluten-free, casein-free, eating only whole grains and fish flakes. But for tonight, I’ll take my cake from the ladies of Chicopee Parish. Pass the armadillo.
Positive Buzzwords: Sweet, Folksy, Steel Magnolias.
Negative Buzzwords: Sweet, Trashy, Devoid of any Nutritional Value, Steel Magnolias.
Cuppa Cuppa Cuppa Cake
- 1 cup self-rising flour*
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup fruit cocktail with juice
- Butter for greasing the pan
- Whipped cream for serving
Preheat the oven to 350.
In a large bowl, mix self rising flour (or substitute*) and sugar.
Add fruit cocktail, and stir until well combined.
Pour the batter into a greased 8 x 8 pan and bake for 45 minutes. Serve with unsweetened whipped cream.
* The substitution for self-rising flour is all-purpose flour, plus baking powder (1 teaspoon per cup) and salt (1/4 teaspoon per cup).