I’m a REAL man. Not only do I eat my …

Comment on How to Cook a Steak Perfectly Every Time by Andy.

I’m a REAL man. Not only do I eat my steak blue-raw, I sit naked and unbathed (for at least one week) before I sit down to eat it. And I sit on a tree stump covered with crushed glass. In the center of the tree stump is a Coke bottle from 1974, ya know, the curvy kind. It tells me if I’m sitting correctly and helps my posture. Then I eat the steak. With my hands. But only if there is sufficient dlack dunk under my finger nails. If not, I bend down and tear at it directly with my face. Oh, my dog Fluffly sits across from me and gets in an occasional bite.

Recent Comments by Andy

Two Ingredient Banana Pancakes (Gluten & Dairy Free)
blah blah blah, so many self-indulgent mongoloids who just love to read their own comments. Has anyone actually prepared and EATEN these pancakes? SPEAK! Rest of you tools, STFU.

Malcolm Bedell is co-author of the critically acclaimed "Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road," as well as the junk food blog "Spork & Barrel," and "Brocavore," a blog about food trucks and street food culture. His contributions include Serious Eats, Down East, Eat Rockland, L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, and The Huffington Post and his food truck, "'Wich, Please," was named "Hottest Restaurant in Maine" for 2015 by Eater. Finally, he finds it very silly to be trying to write this in the third person.