Salted Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers

Jillian and I first starting taking road trips together in 1999. At first, we would take our lives in our hands, pushing the beater Toyota Corolla that her parents bought her when she was a teenager to its limits, with short 300 mile journeys from our school in New Haven to my hometown here in Maine. As the years progressed, the trips became more ambitious, but our cars never seemed to improve much. There was the 1992 Volvo sedan that we used to take Summer vacations in the Catskills and in Montauk, when the heat and stink of Brooklyn became too oppressive and overwhelming, that I ultimately sold to a Mormon missionary with a backpack full of license plates. Or the army green Jeep Wrangler that carried us through the four year-long road trip that was our life in Mexico, before dying its final death on the side of the road just outside of Progreso, where I am certain I actually saw it explode some sort of viscous mixture of engine coolant, blood and oil into the dusty street.

What has remained constant throughout all of these trips, no matter where we were at the time, or where we were headed, was the half-eaten package of safety cone-orange packaged peanut butter crackers that rode shotgun in the cup holder between us. These crackers, sold six or eight to a pack, always seem like the best possible option, when I am trying to make a meal out of the junk at a gas station. They always seem marginally more healthy than driving through McDonald’s, or eating whatever taco-flavored abomination is warming on the stainless steel hot dog rollers at 7-11. The (ostensibly) cheese-flavored crackers and peanut butter always seem wholesome, compared to the other available road food options. They’re not. They’re terrible for you. They’re fairly high in fat, pack 300 milligrams of sodium, and have the unusual quality of giving you a queasy, upset stomach long before they actually satisfy your hunger. Let’s cover them in chocolate.

This isn’t really a recipe, so much as it is a really, really good frikkin’ idea.

Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers

Salted Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers
Makes about two dozen crackers

Ingredients:

  • 24 bright orange peanut butter crackers (Keebler, Little Debbie, and Austin brands are all good choices)
  • 1 4 ounce bar milk or semisweet baking chocolate
  • Kosher salt

Method:

Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers

Fill small saucepan with about an inch of water, and warm over medium heat. Place a heat-safe bowl on top of the pan to act as a double boiler. Break chocolate into small chunks, and stir until melted.

Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers

One at a time, coat crackers in melted chocolate, and set aside on parchment paper. Let cool briefly, and sprinkle each cracker with Kosher salt. Chill in refrigerator until set.

Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Crackers

 

Malcolm Bedell is co-author of the critically acclaimed "Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road," as well as the junk food blog "Spork & Barrel," and "Brocavore," a blog about food trucks and street food culture. His contributions include Serious Eats, Down East, Eat Rockland, L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, and The Huffington Post and his food truck, "'Wich, Please," was named "Hottest Restaurant in Maine" for 2015 by Eater. Finally, he finds it very silly to be trying to write this in the third person.

6 Comments

  1. And this is why I love your posts. I read on FB of my friends on their no carb/no sugar diets, or writing about cleanses, or preaching I have to give up gluten – then, like that first warm breeze in spring along the ME coast, you show up and remind me food is supposed to be enjoyed. Thank you!

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    1. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment, Susan. I agree…if food isn’t fun and enjoyable, what’s the point? It’s why I’ll never be a vegetarian. It’s also why I’ll never be an underwear model. Thanks for reading!

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  2. Yes. Yes to all of that. Also, yes to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE.

    Chocolate-covered pb cheesy crackers and chocolate-dipped potato chips might turn out to be the whole reason I learned how to temper chocolate (actually a nicely precise and simple task, which didn’t stop me from cursing and complaining all the way).

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  3. p.s. – For the dairy-tolerant among us, the secret to eating cheezy crackers as roadfood is to accompany them with a nice cold bottle of milk. It’s my standby when we’re running errands and I suddenly realize I have to eat something RIGHT NOW.

    Cheezy crackers + soda + the mild vibrations of a car ride = blerk!

    Cheezy crackers + the protein and general foodishness of milk + nostalgia = childlike contentment.

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